I have learned many small but essential lessons while searching for work – the importance of networking, doing what you love, and picking yourself up when you are down. I have experienced many emotional highs and lows and have survived and thrived. In addition to those small life lessons, I've learned some big ones, too – ones that influenced my job search and significantly impacted how I live my life.
You don't need to do it all on your own – I know this was one of the small lessons I learned along the way, but it turned out to be one of the biggest. I have never been one to ask for help. I've always associated it with weakness. According to my mother, my favourite saying when I was young was, "I can do it!". But sometimes you cannot or should not. Everyone needs to know that there are people behind them whom they can lean on when the going gets rough. It does not mean that you are giving up your personal power. It means that you believe that there is power in asking for help. As the poet, John Doan, said, "No man is an island unto himself," and he was right. So why go it alone? Build your support system and be open to receiving as well as giving. You will be stronger for it.
I am not my job – Until I lost my job, my life revolved around my work. I'm usually an "all in" type of person and throw myself into what I'm doing heart, mind, body, and soul. I would go to work early and work overtime when needed. My friendships often revolved around my job since I spent most of my time there. And my feeling of self-worth was all wrapped up in what I did for a living. So, when I lost my job, I lost my source of income and myself. It has not been easy to build a new life, but the effort has been worth it. And even after almost five years since that first layoff, I am still discovering more about myself. The road has been bumpy, with lots of hills and valleys, but I can honestly say I'm a more vital and happier person because of the struggles I endured. And because of that, I can say that my layoffs were indeed blessings in disguise.
Have faith – This lesson has been the hardest to learn. In the beginning, people kept telling me to "have faith," and I struggled to understand what they meant. Have faith? What exactly is faith? I've discovered that having faith is believing everything will be alright; I trust everything will turn out in my highest and best interest. This understanding means I must trust, surrender control and let things be. And this is hard for me. Over the past five years, I have seen again and again that having faith works. For example, I had a job pop up when I only had three weeks left before my source of income ended with no hope in sight. Another time, I received a phone call from a friend when I was at my wit's end; or had that unexpected cheque arrive in the mail when my rent was due. When I find myself in a situation where I find fear is my driving force, I make the conscious decision to choose to have faith. I may not always succeed – fear is still too prevalent in my life – but I keep at it. The peace that it brings into my life is worth it.
You are more resilient than you know - Resiliency is the ability to bounce back after a personal setback. I did not realize I could bounce back until I faced a significant setback in my life. I faced fear and uncertainty and discovered that I was much stronger than I ever knew. Knowing I have the inner strength to cope with life's challenges has helped my self-confidence and self-esteem to grow. I know that life can be difficult, but I also know that I can survive it and thrive.
I sincerely hope you never have to sit across the desk from your manager and be told that you are being made redundant. Still, if you do, I hope that what I have shared about my experiences will provide you with some comfort. In time, you will discover that your life is not over; it is just beginning. The future is full of possibilities. Embrace the gift you have been given and run with it! You won't regret it.
Cathy Obright is a Career and Employment Coach in London, Ontario, Canada
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