So, after many months of effort and many highs and lows, I finally landed a job! I remember being so happy, dancing around the room when I got the offer! Working as an Employment Coach and Workshop Facilitator seemed like a job made in heaven! I got to help people find employment AND facilitate workshops – two of my favourite things! I was in heaven. After all, it meant that my job-searching days were over, right?
Unfortunately, this was not my experience. Ten months later, I was laid off again due to budget constraints. This time, though, was different. The leadership at the agency where I worked was very transparent about its financial situation at the outset. When the phone call came, I was not happy, but I was expecting it. After all, as the saying goes, last hired – first fired. But, when I met with the Executive Director and my manager, the atmosphere in the room was different. They treated me with dignity and respect. They did not watch over me while I cleaned my workspaces, nor did they escort me out of the building. Instead, the management gave me the option of staying for the remainder of the day. They also gave me time and privacy to absorb the news and to box up my belongings. And my work colleagues were not told to avoid me but made a point to come and say goodbye once they found out. Although disappointed and saddened about the news, I left with my head held high and my dignity intact, which made all the difference.
This job search was also different. The job market where I live had changed in the ten months I was employed. The job market was tighter and available jobs were limited. I was also one year older, and that made a difference too. Although I worked my network and had many interviews, I received no job offers in the seven months I was on Employment Insurance. It was a tough time. I tried to stay optimistic; after all, I had done this before with lots of success. I remember experiencing many more days where I felt blue and barely had enough energy to get dressed in the morning.
What also made this time different was that I could not find a job before my Employment Insurance (EI) began to run out. This situation had never happened to me before. Here I was with no income coming in and no savings in the bank to fall back on. The prospect of going on welfare and visiting the local food bank became very real. The panic attacks I had not experienced in a few years returned with a vengeance, and I was terrified. What if I never found another job? What was I going to do? I didn't give up hope, but it was close.
But then something happened that reminded me how important it is not to search for a job alone. I attended a meeting for an organization I was volunteering with, and the Executive Director announced that they were looking for a part-time Administrative Assistant. I respected the organization and liked the people who worked and volunteered there, so I decided that that job would be mine. I went home, worked on my resume, and then made an appointment with the Executive Director, where I pitched myself for the job. I never did that before in my life. I was scared to death of putting myself out there and being rejected, but I had to push those fears aside if I was going to find a job. And the good news was my determination and persistence paid off, and I got the job! I was able to breathe again.
Since then, I've had to deal with a lot of reality and change. First of all, I have had to come to terms with the fact that at my age, I will probably never have another full-time permanent position. In the last three years, I have worked several casual and part-time contract jobs to make ends meet. In the future, I may get a full-time job but I have the feeling it will always be under contract.
Why do I think this, you ask? Although people may scoff at the idea, there is ageism in hiring processes. Many companies feel it is cheaper to hire someone who is younger, plus they often are seen as having more energy and vitality. Plus, there is the worry of how an older worker would feel or react if they were to report to someone who is younger. Despite this, though, I will continue to hope that I will be the exception to the rule, but I also have to realize that it may be an uphill climb.
And this makes this a hard truth to face because, even though I'm close to what many consider retirement age, I love to work and still have a lot to offer. To know that the extensive knowledge, skills, and experience that I bring to an employer are not valued hurts and is a big blow to my self-confidence. But what I’ve found is, as I get older, I'm becoming more comfortable in my skin and more confident in who I am and what I can do. I've also become more selective about who I want to work with and what I want to do. If I am going to work until I'm 70 years of age, I want to be doing something that I love to do, and that makes me happy to get up in the morning. Work is becoming less about money and advancement and more about meaning, purpose, and satisfaction. And the funny thing is that this new emerging feeling of self-worth has helped my job search.
All through this time, I was reminded of just how important it is to have a supportive network of colleagues, friends, and family. For example, recently I was recommended for and offered my dream job! I could not be more thrilled! If it wasn’t for my friends, I wouldn’t have this opportunity to do work that I love, in a place that will be intellectually stimulating, and make more money than I ever have in my life. The other thing I am reminded of repeatedly is that it is essential to have faith that things will work out. Often, they work out differently than you want or expect them, but this can be a good thing because sometimes, what does happen is beyond your wildest expectations.
Cathy Obright is a Career and Employment Coach in London, Ontario, Canada
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Next week - Chapter 4 - Life's Big Lessons
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