It’s almost as though I knew this was going to happen.
That day in November 2017 started like any other workday that year. I got up early and headed out in the dark to drive the 25 kilometres to my place of employment in a nearby town. I usually let my mind wander on those early morning drives, but that morning was different. The funniest thought went through my mind: “I wonder what would happen if they laid me off today?” I dismissed it as being crazy – little did I know that 1.5 hours later, I would be driving back that way again with all my office possessions in the back of my car. Somehow, I knew.
Once I arrived at work, I didn’t have to wait long. I remember walking into my manager in the hallway and him asking to see me upstairs. This encounter seemed odd because he usually was not in that early, but I figured it was not a problem. But when I walked into his office, I realized there was a problem. He wasn’t alone. In the room with him were the head of the Human Resources Department and a woman I did not recognize. (That woman, unbeknownst to me, would become my lifeline over the next few months.)
When I sat down, my manager slid an envelope across the desk to me and told me that, due to budget constraints, they were letting me go. I’m usually a pretty calm person who does not get angry quickly, but when he said that, I just erupted. I remember throwing the envelope at him (usually, I liked the man, honest!) and getting up to leave. He calmly asked me to sit down and then said I should take time to read what was in the envelope. Then he and the human resources manager left the office, leaving me in tears. I sobbed like my world was coming to an end. And as far as I knew that day, it was.
Being let go from a job is a soul-crushing experience. The only thought going through my head was, “They don’t want me anymore. I’m not good enough.” For someone who lived to work, this was a huge blow. And to add insult to injury, I was to be “guarded” as I packed up my office and then escorted out of the building like I was a criminal. That was the worst part: after working for the organization for five years, they didn’t trust me enough to let me do this independently. It was like getting a slap in the face.
The woman in the office that morning whom I did not know identified herself as Gloria. She was a career counsellor at a local career transition firm. Her calmness, humour, and strength that morning helped me to stay calm as I packed and walked out of the building with my head held high. And as we parted in the parking lot, she told me something that, at the time, I thought was very strange, but that turned out to be very accurate. She told me that, in time, I would realize that my employers had given me a great gift that day. By letting me go, they gave me the gift of time – time to discover who I was at 57 years of age and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. The truth was that I had not been happy working there for a couple of years, so it was a blessing in disguise.
Gloria also gave me a great piece of advice before we parted. She advised me not to rush into a new job search but to take some time to do some essential things first, such as contacting a lawyer to look over my severance agreement and tell my family. Most importantly, she suggested I take time to grieve. I had always associated grieving with losing a family member or a pet. I did not realize that grieving is also something you must do when you lose something important to you, like a job. I loved being a volunteer coordinator, and I loved many of my co-workers and volunteers. She was right, though. I needed time to say goodbye before moving forward with my life. And although that day had been rough, the most challenging part was yet to come. Letting go of the past and finding a job later in life is difficult.
Cathy Obright is a Career and Employment Coach in London, Ontario, Canada.
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Next week - Chapter 2 - A Journey of Self-Discovery
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