Editor's Note: May is Mental Health Awareness month. Please connect compassionately with people in your family, friends, work, and communities of interest who may suffer from mental health issues. Please see the end of this chapter for further information and resources.
In comparative mythology, as laid out by Joseph Campbell, the Hero's Journey has 17 stages grouped under 3 "acts." "Campbell is the author of many analytic investigations of world myth and creation stories and describes a common narrative, cross-culturally, binding these stories together. His most well-known works were "Hero's Journey" and a companion book entitled "The Power of Myth." "The three "acts" laid out by Campbell are:
Departure (separation)
Initiation
Descent
Initiation
Return
The work of Carl Jung heavily influenced Campbell, who incorporated the concept of spirituality into the budding field of psychoanalysis after Freud.
To be clear, I do not consider myself a hero of any sort. Rather quite the opposite, still often having to remind me of my worthiness. I lay these concepts out to provide a framework for my story, a story of separation, a descent into madness, initiation, and coming home.
Departure
I grew up in a small, rural farming community in the Midwest in the 1950s and 60s. One of my earliest memories is sitting under the apple tree next to the garden in our yard when I was three or four years old. It is dusk, the sun setting over the corn stalks, fireflies rising from the ground. I recall a moment of feeling a sense of deep connection to the universe and the world around me. It is a split second where I sense a link to something much bigger than myself and a moment that has presented itself a few other times in my life. It is a moment of innocence I have chased throughout my life's journey. Annie Dillard, one of my favorite authors, describes, "It is like hounds after the hare."
As I matured, I began to feel that somehow I was "different." Not because of that experience under the apple tree, but because it was becoming more apparent that who I was, was not acceptable to the world around me. I had no words for "what" I was, only that I was different from the other boys my age. The term "gay" had not come into widespread usage, but "queer" and "faggot" had. Terms of scorn and separation. This discrimination was the beginning of my "departure." I remember being acutely aware of my first experience with depression at age 8. I felt separated from the world, like swimming through quicksand.
I became more isolated within myself and yet more sensitive – a double-edged sword. I could see the world around me with a sense of wonder and amazement. I experienced the beauty of everyday things more fully – the power of a sudden thunderstorm, the way the air took on a greenish hue as turbulence spawned tornadoes, the absolute quiet and stillness before the onslaught of dangerous weather, the brilliance of the light after the danger had passed.
Despite feeling different, not belonging, but not understanding why, I maintained a couple of friendships with other farm kids, and as puberty descended upon us, we began to "experiment." The rejection by one of these friends marked my descent into profound social anxiety and often debilitating self-loathing. I would try to drum up the courage to play sports, date girls, and do the things society expected of me, but that only reinforced my sense of failure and feelings of being less-than. Thus began my descent into madness, self-sabotage, and addiction.
Alarming Statistics:
The Trevor Project's 2022 survey of nearly 34,000 LGTBQ youth between the ages of 18 to 24 years of age (of which 45% were persons of color and 48% were transgender or non-binary) reported that:
45% of the youth surveyed seriously considered committing suicide last year;
less than 1 in 3 transgender youth found their home to be gender-affirming; and
60% of the youth surveyed who wanted mental health services could not get it.
Mental health issues are more prevalent and particularly acute in teenagers. Suicide rates for teenagers that identify as sexual minorities are three times higher than for teenagers that identify as heterosexual. Despite the greater social acceptance of sexual minorities in the U.S. in recent times, suicide rates have not been shrinking. Interestingly, the number of teenagers identifying as a sexual minority doubled in the past 10-15 years.
Do you know someone that is a teenager and a sexual minority? Often time, the pain they may experience is well hidden. Here are some warning signs:
Any significant change in behavior or mood is a warning sign that someone may be thinking about suicide, for example:
losing interest in a previously enjoyed hobby or activity
disconnecting from friends or family
change in sleeping or eating patterns
drinking alcohol or taking drugs to excess
Statements of hopelessness or talk of being a burden can also be warning signs:
“I don’t fit in at all with my classmates… it feels like I’m the only gay person I know.”
“I wish my family members would accept me for who I am… I feel like I have no one in my family to talk to.”
If you notice anyone exhibiting the following signs, get that person help immediately – call 9-1-1 or the local crisis line:
threatening to hurt or kill themselves
talking or writing about death or suicide
seeking out ways to kill themselves
(American Association of Suicidology, 2017)
Resources for LGBTQ youth:
The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/. The Trevor Project is a national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.
It Gets Better Project: https://itgetsbetter.org/. The It Gets Better Project inspires people across the globe to share their stories and remind the next generation of LGBTQ+ youth that hope is out there, and it will get better.
Q Chat Space: https://www.qchatspace.org/. Q Chat Space is a digital LGBTQ+ center where teens join live-chat, professionally facilitated, online support groups. Also available in Spanish (disponible en español).
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Join us next week for Descent into Mental Illness, Addiction, and Initiation
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