Right after I decided to travel less and spend more time in my community, the pandemic closed things up, and I had no choice in the matter. There were many restrictions on where we could go, what we could do and there was very little human contact. I nestled in my warm home and decided to clean out drawers, straighten closets, paint floors, and just basically nest.
One day, I talked to a friend of mine who works in social services, and she told me about the single moms she had as clients. Many were newly recovering alcoholics and drug addicts and others were still fighting active addiction. Many of their children had been placed in the foster care system and were being returned to their birth parents during the pandemic, a measure that was justified so the foster parents could be COVID-safe.
These were mothers who were working service sector jobs, such as waitresses, maids, cashiers, cafe baristas. Many of those businesses closed down in the worst of the pandemic and the workers lost their jobs. My friend shared with me that some of these mothers (and fathers) sacrificed food for themselves so they could provide food for their children or pay rent. There was a lot of fear about losing their homes and living on the street. One woman with five (5) children, some afflicted with autism, was living day-to-day in a motel.
I asked my friend, what these families needed? She told me, food, diapers, and everyday supplies, such as personal hygiene items. We decided to ask our friends for donations and to give the moms gift cards from large retail stores, such as Walmart that they could then use for whatever they needed. I sent out an email to the women living on my street and got immediate results. I widened my request next to women in my communities of interest. Those women then connected with their friends and family and the donation drive went even further afield. I was getting checks from all over and money in my PayPal account.
Each day, I would call my friend and ask where the need was greatest that day. She might say baby food or cereal and milk for the children. I would get a food gift card for $100 and drop it off with her. Many times she was reaching out directly to me, so great was the need and so desperate the social service workers. Did we have donations this week? It was always yes. One of the most generous gifts came when two (2) friends of mine had loaned someone else USD 1000 many years ago and at this point, they were not planning on getting it repaid. Suddenly one day, that person paid it back in full. My friends immediately transferred the money to our food/supplies account. That day I cried at the selflessness of those two (2) friends.
We were able to continue to get food and supply cards for over a year, during the darkest days of the pandemic. The need was there and it will, likely, always be there. I learned a lesson about grace by giving without any expectation of anything in return. I received an inner peace and quiet presence of gratitude that comes with grace.
This type of story also hits close to home. My mother died of Hodgkin's disease when I was six (6) years old. My father had many medical bills. This was in the 1960s and medical insurance and coverage were not as good as it is today, at least in this country (USA). My father had a difficult time financially with two (2) young children, a modest income teaching job. People in our community offered to give us things to help us in other ways, such as cleaning our house. I would get second-hand dresses, sweaters, and coats. I was always embarrassed when they came over with a sack of clothes and gave them to me. My perception was that they expected me to be demonstrably happy and filled with gratitude. I was very appreciative of their generosity, but I also found myself blushing and feeling I was less than equal to the other people who were not lacking and wanting. It is so important to me to this day to give quietly, subtly, without fanfare, and graciously. Today, I understand that someone's need does not make them less than my equal, that spiritual values of love and compassion that come with giving are possible because someone needs and that grace that accompanies the joy of giving is always a quiet virtue.
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Next week - Thankful - The Ride of My Life
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