By the mid-1940s, my grandfather was getting ill with respiratory issues, sleeping only while sitting up in his favorite chair in the living room. He still made an effort to go to work each day to provide for the family. Medical science was not as it is today. His condition and demise today would not be unexpected given that the man smoked two packs of Lucky Strike cigarettes and worked in the coal mines and transported coal. Tuberculosis was commonplace and listed on his death certificate, though it was never confirmed. My grandfather succumbed to what we now know was throat cancer.
Nana's (grandmother) six children went to stay with a family friend across the street. It was common to have the deceased placed in a coffin in the living room for friends and family to view, and the viewing could last several days. My grandfather laid in a coffin parallel to the fireplace in the living room. Funeral homes were too costly for the family.
The next few days were full of neighbors who knew my grandparents from Italy and other family members from across the states. My grandmother and four aunts wore nothing but black for the following week. The black wreath was hung on the front door and removed one week after his death. Nana continued to wear black for the following one-year period (according to her family tradition). Today, we often have celebrations of life following someone's death, which was not acceptable back then. After several viewing days, they buried my grandfather in his wooden coffin after a Catholic mass.
My grandmother faced a financial crisis with her husband's death. He was the sole breadwinner. His death left my Nana alone to raise six children and find a way to pay the mortgage. Devastation!
Nana was able to speak in "broken" English but could not write in English. Education in Conflenti was never a top priority for my grandmother and her siblings, making them somewhat of an outcast in America. With very little money from the American government, my Nana had to find a way to make money while raising the children. She took in boarders and did other peoples' laundry. Nana made the children's clothing (sometimes from potato sacks) and grew vegetables and fruits in her garden. Times were tough financially, and the standard meals consisted of pasta, bread, beans, and potatoes. Dessert consisted of fruit or a salad. It was unheard of to buy penny candy, chocolate, or ice cream. Nana walked miles to the local markets to patronize the one owned by her Italian friends.
There was a time when the family had a pet lamb that the children grew to love. My mother had told me that she came home from elementary school and the lamb was missing. At dinner that night, meat was on the table, a rarity, but it was the beloved pet. To this day, my mother will not eat lamb.
As time went on, my aunts and uncles all attended public school. Each graduated from Fordson High School in Dearborn, Michigan, which is still a beautiful structure after all these years. During this time, the siblings found jobs and contributed to the household's finances. My Nana still maintained the home and was adamant that each child was cared for and nourished with her love.
She was also able to become an American citizen in 1952 after the children taught her the required information for the test. Before my Nana passed, I recall her telling me about the day of her taking the oath and meeting the Mayor of Dearborn. She was so proud to become an American citizen. It was through integrity, perseverance, and hard work that this 5' 3" Italian widow, mother of six, realized the American dream.
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Join us next week for Part 4, the conclusion - Of Generations and Heritage - Fede, Famiglia, Amici, Cibo
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